Let’s be honest, sales isn’t for the faint of heart.
It’s a rejection profession. A field where your success is built not in spite of rejection, but because of how you dance with it. And like anything that tests us, the game isn’t won on tactics—it’s won inside our own heads.
Whether you’re a doer in the trenches or a leader guiding others, everything starts with mindset. That “supercomputer” between your ears is either your biggest ally or your sneakiest saboteur. And when you peel it back, human behaviour operates from one of two primal forces: fear or love.
In business development and sales, fear wears many masks. Some examples are:
- “What if they say no?”
- “They probably won’t respond.”
- “I’m just going to send an email instead and put them on an auto follow up sequence.”
- “What if they think I’m pushy?”
- “I’m just bothering them”
These thoughts are driven by the internal voice called “the judge.” It urges us to take the easier path. To avoid rejection at all costs.
Sales is where perseverance, resilience, and purpose meet. It’s a profession built on the passion to serve. On habits over hacks. On presence over pitch. It’s the art of creating connection—not just closing deals.
Whether you’re the person picking up the phone, walking into the meeting, crafting the follow-up, or you’re leading a team of people who are—everything starts from the inside out. Mindset is not a fluffy buzzword; it’s the foundation. The way you think, what you feel, and the beliefs you carry shape your outcomes more than any strategy or script.
But here’s a powerful reframe from one of the absolute greats and experts in the profession;
“The starting position of all customers is that they want to be helped.” — Alex Goldfayn
Think about that for a moment.
The fear that often paralyzes us in this profession—whether it’s avoiding a call, defaulting to email, or hesitating to follow up—is usually rooted in that primal force: fear of rejection. Fear of not being liked. Fear of hearing “no.” But the truth is, people want help. We just need to believe it enough to step into the conversation.
Mindset First. Always.
You can have the best tools, the perfect CRM, the most polished pitch deck—but if your internal world is being run by fear, doubt, or self-judgment, all of that becomes irrelevant.
What if we started here instead:
- What am I telling myself before this call?
- Am I leading with contribution or conversion?
- Am I present—or projecting past experiences onto this one?
When we think a conversation will be hard, we show up stiff and guarded… and sure enough, it becomes hard. But when we shift to a belief mindset—to curiosity, service, and possibility—we invite a different experience. One rooted in love, not fear.
When we shift our mindset from “bothering” to “serving,” everything changes.
It’s Not You, It’s Your System
Let’s talk habits.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”— James Clear
The sales profession rewards consistency and repetition. And what we repeat becomes our system—whether intentional or accidental. So, here’s the million-dollar question:
What if we rewarded the effort, not just the result?
Instead of only celebrating closed deals, what if we also celebrated:
- The hard conversation that was had.
- The follow-up that reflected genuine curiosity.
- The meaningful connection made at a networking event.
- Picking up the phone and calling someone in the presence of fear.
If fear is the strongest emotion holding us back, then our job is to create conditions where progress feels good. When you enjoy the effort, you’re more likely to repeat it. That’s how habits form. That’s how confidence grows.
Networking: Meaning Over Volume
Most people enter a room thinking, “How many people can I meet?” Spray and pray.
But what if we flipped that?
Set an intention before you walk in: What kind of energy do I want to bring? Who can I serve, help or support today? Instead of asking “What do you do?”, try this:
“What’s bringing you joy today?”
Sounds small, but it changes everything. You’ll shift the conversation from surface-level to human-level. You’ll connect beyond the business card. And you just might create something meaningful.
Because sales and networking aren’t about numbers. They’re about moments. And moments are made when we’re present.
Human to Human: Always
“We talk in B2B and B2C terms—but the real foundation of Business Development and Sales is H2H: Human to Human.”— Tyler Nicholetts
Eventhough understanding our target market is very important, we don’t sell to avatars. Every interaction, whether it be with a business owner, or a cashier, is an opportunity to create connection. You never know where a small, sincere moment of presence can lead. Even at a gas station paying for gum—yes, even there—you can create an experience.
“We have an ‘always already listening.’”— Unstoppable Conversations
Most of us don’t listen from a blank slate. We listen through filters—past experiences, assumptions, judgments, agreements, disagreements. But in order to truly connect, we must train ourselves to listen from nothing. From now. From curiosity.
If we’re not present, we can’t hear the real need. And if we can’t hear the real need, how can we serve? How can we expect others to trust us with a decision?
Culture Over KPIs
“Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” — Peter Drucker
All the scripts, dashboards, and playbooks in the world won’t fix a culture built on pressure, friction, perfection, and fear of failure. Real success in business development and sales comes from cultures where people are empowered to show up fully as themselves. Where effort is encouraged. Where authenticity is celebrated.
Here’s the truth: people don’t buy from people who are perfect. They buy from people they trust. People who are real. People who genuinely care.
So, let’s stop trying to be “salespeople,” and start being humans who help other humans.
The Top 5 Traits of a Standout BD and Sales Pro
In my years of doing the work, leading others, and coaching in this space, here are the five characteristics I see again and again in people who thrive:
- Authenticity – They bring their whole selves. No masks. No manipulation. Just real.
- Mental Resilience – They bounce back. Not because it’s easy, but because they have a deeper passion that fuels their purpose.
- Curiosity Over Assumption – They let the conversation unfold. They ask, they listen, they adapt and you both step into discovery.
- Contribution Mindset – They’re there to ask, “What I can give”, “How can I help”. And that generosity builds trust.
- Presence – They make people feel seen, heard, and valued. That alone sets them apart.
The Big Why
At the heart of it all, this profession is a mirror. It reveals our mindset, our habits, our relationship with discomfort, and our willingness to grow.
It’s also one of the most beautiful spaces to evolve as a human being. Because when you lead with integrity, authenticity, curiosity, and contribution, not only do you succeed…
You build a reputation that lasts. You create momentum that sticks. You make an impact.
Final Thought
Sales isn’t about pushing. It’s about pulling people into new possibilities, conversations, and decisions they haven’t yet made with you. It’s a profession of transformation, starting with our own. So, when you slow down, build from the inside out, you can speed up. Because when you show up fully as you, from a place of intention, contribution, and help first, everything changes.
We create trust. We become referable. We attract clients, opportunities, and partner.
Tyler Nicholetts
Senior Advisor
